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Reflective Reflexes


I was not really in a hurry, I was just tired of waiting. My foot tapping, my blood pressure rising as if by Pavlovian response, the snippy resonse already forming on my tongue, I was about to let the front desk manager have it when I was actually saved by a sigh and an eye roll. As strange as that may sound, my long frustrated sigh acted more like a deep, cleansing breath and I suddenly gained perspective on myself and the situation I was in. It was summertime. As a teacher I am blessed with two months to rejuvenate, relax, and reflect. I had nowhere to go, no reason to be in a hurry, yet I had run out of patience and it wasn't even 9 a.m.! My deep breath helped me reflect on my reflexes. It gave me the time to catch a bad mood mid-formation. When I thought about the potential amount of wasted energy, stress and irritation that I almost allowed into my morning simply because I was inconvenienced, I actually laughed at myself. A bonafide LOL. When the guy behind the desk finally got around to paying attention to me I was smiling and he was as pleasant as can be, giving me news I that was not about to make my morning any easier.
At the risk of sounding like a total spoiled brat, I will tell you the circumstances. My husband and I were given the opportunity to stay at a beautiful condo on the ocean that is owned by a friend and was vacant for a week. It is only 40 minutes from our house, but we were getting away from the responsibilities of every day life, so it was a quick little vacation. A "stay"cation, if you will. With our oldest now going away to college and our youngest working as a CIT at a sleep away camp, we found ourselves nearly empty nesters. Me with my summers off and my husband's buisiness that can be conducted from his computer when necessary, we have truly begun to maximize on our leisure time. And so, I am almost embarrassed to admit that I found it remarkably easy to feel sorry for myself while inconvenienced on our last day in paradise. On our last morning, our electronic access cards were turned off prematurely and the computer "was down" leaving no easy way to get from floor to floor (to do the very important things I had to do, like go to the spa, the gym, the pool and the beach!). Each time we wanted to go to a different floor, would have to go to the front desk and ask for access to be granted. Our condo was on the 35th floor, so going to the lobby every time we wanted to do a new activity was no easy feat.. but again - what else did we have to do? My sigh turned deep breath helped me make every journey a meditative experience. With each trip up and down the elevator, I took in the sights and delights of the amazing place we were graced to spend time in. As I melted in the sun (this is summertime in Florida let's not forget) I looked at the people in suits in thier cars and thanked the career Gods for steering me into a life of academia. As I realized that I had forgotten my wallet on the 35th floor, I appreciated the fact that I would be consuming fewer calories as a result. Looking for, and finding, the positive in each and every moment truly requires practice. But practice makes perfect and with enough practice new habits can be formed. With enough practice, perhaps I can turn my old reflexive reactions into new reflective ones.
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