On the Bright Side

A great way to get in touch with what truly makes you happy is to think back to when you were a young kid with “nothing to do.” How did you do to entertain yourself? Did you build forts out of furniture and blankets? Did you listen to music and try to sing or play along? Did you draw or redesign your room or closet? Did you read? The activities that made the time slip away without notice are the things that we need to be doing more of in our adult life. If they made our hearts smile back in the day, they are sure to do the same today. Some things are obvious, like reading or singing. If you liked it then, you like it now. But what if building blanket forts in the dining room was your bliss? I suppose today a better idea might be to build something useful, like a table. Or maybe the fort was about the privacy. In that case what’s needed is carving out a space to sit quietly, alone when you want to.    Last month I wrote about how I used to love to pretend I was a teacher. I would

I am finally beginning to identify with the wise old sage inside of me. She smiles warmly looking back at younger versions of myself knowing that all will be ok. I am coming to realize that I am one of the must stubborn, blind, optimistic dreamers known to man. Contradictory, but true. It makes me laugh. I’ve always been a philosopher of sorts. Those closest to me throughout my whole life have agreed that while I am lovable, I am weird. I’m not offended... it’s a commentary on my ability to avoid drama and not sweat the small stuff from very early on. I’ve always known deep down that there is something larger than us at work and that our lives are mere blips on the radar of eternity. I knew before I even read Paulo Coelho’s The Alchemist that our only job on this earth is to follow the truth in our heart and do what we were put here to do. I guess you could say I’m an old soul. The irony is, with all of this ancient wisdom, it takes me forever to see what is right in front of me.

When I met my husband it was love at first sight. We were two long lost souls reunited and were inseparable from the start. Twenty five years, six addresses, two kids and multiple career changes later, our love-fest has matured into grown-up jobs and grown-up responsibilities. And while our souls may be aligned, our personalities are not always so in synch. Marriage has a way of shining a light into corners of our psyche that have been lying dormant and unquestioned for years. I’m sure there were times when my husband looked at me and wondered who this masked impostor was that had been posing as his best friend. I know I did. There were times when we were so far away from each other that it felt scary and lonely. Fortunately, two things we hold in common are an open mind and a sense of humor. The first years of marriage can be tough. Move to a new state, throw a couple of kids into the mix and change jobs a few times and it can be crazy. On a particularly stressful day, my husban

        I was asked to speak to a group of undergraduates at the State University of New York at Geneseo (my alma mater) for their GOLD program’s “Pearls of Wisdom” series. The program prepares students for leadership roles in college and beyond through workshops and lectures. Preparing for this forced me to take a candid look at my own leadership style to garner what ‘pearls’ I could from my 26 year career that would speak to a young, hopeful audience at the beginning of theirs. This was challenging considering I haven’t done anything that I would consider speech-worthy. I haven’t started a charity or volunteered for the Peace Corp; I’m not a CEO of a high-tech company; I haven’t run for office or published a book (yet!). I teach. I parent. I continue to learn and grow. I chase my dreams. I work hard and play hard and try to “be the change I wish to see in the world.” But those sound more like refrigerator magnets than secrets to success. So, what’s my secret? Success, to me, means l

“Retreat!” As a verb, it means backing away from a battle. As a noun, it is a place of rest and relaxation; a place to recharge your batteries away from the hustle and bustle of life. At face value the words seem at odds, but the command, “Retreat!” urges a movement away from stress at the risk of failure or breakdown, and a retreat urges the same thing! Opening up space to reconnect with our inner selves and spirit requires a break from daily roles and responsibilities. If we remain entrapped in the din of our daily life our gifts and talents may never grow. In order for our authentic selve to EMERGE, we must retreat. Last April I felt an urgent need to retreat. Let’s just say it was an EMERGEncy! I went home to my beloved Mid-Hudson Valley in upstate New York and attended a workshop at the Omega Institute called “Channeling your Creativity,” facilitated by Alanis Morissette and James Van Praagh (which, I confess, was a huge catalyst - what an opportunity!). When I booked the trip

      John Templeton may best be known as a pioneer in the financial industry. He became a billionaire after establishing Templeton Growth Fund, one of the first modern mutual fund companies in the world. But what is even more remarkable about him is his philanthropy, which fueled his work from the beginning and continued throughout his career. John Templeton established an annual gift to be awarded to living individuals who “make an exceptional contribution to affirming life’s spiritual dimension.” The first Templeton Prize was awarded to Mother Teresa in 1973. So, while he was named the “greatest global stock picker of the century” by Money Magazine in 1999, it is reaffirming to know that, for John Templeton, who could easily have been another Wolf of Wall Street, being nice was more important. As much as we’d like to, we can’t all be billionaires shaving off extra millions for Mother Teresa and the Dali Lama, but we can honor each other in small ways a million times over every sing

The old adage about one door closing and another opening proved true. After my rejection from graduate school, I started looking in other directions for ways to continue my quest for growth. I stumbled upon a fellowship opportunity to study at Oxford this summer in England and **spoiler alert ** I got it! My inner critic reached for her bull horn, but changed gears and merely whispered instead, maybe just don’t announce this pipe dream... let the chips fall where they may, but GO FOR IT! I have to say I’ve become pretty adept at redirecting the negative talk. Go for it was about to be followed up by you probably won’t get it anyway and, like a New Age Ninja, I swiftly cut that thought off at the pass. The funny thing was how I did it. I’d been sitting at the park with my dog. It’s become a favorite meditation practice for me, practice being the operative word because stopping the inner chatter in this head is like herding cats. The battle between my positive side and my negative s

Ants are busy little creatures! I never understood the attraction of ant farms, but now I get it. I was having one of those days where you can’t win for losing, the culmination of which was locking my keys in my car at the end of a very long day. As I approached my car, all I could think about was the steaming hot cup of chai tea I would be sipping in a nice, short twenty minutes. As I place my bag on the passenger side seat and closed the door, I knew my keys were in the bag. But they operate on a sensor which is not supposed to let them get locked in the car. They never had before; there was no reason to think the doors would lock then. But they did. Despite my efforts to will the key fob to recognize that I was trying to open the door, the doors remained locked and I was stuck, staring into a locked car, my keys poking out of my bag mocking my haste. Now, not only did I have to wait for someone from home to battle the rush hour traffic to bring me the extra set of keys from home,

        The history of Valentine’s Day is not without debate.  There are several versions floating around and all admit they are not certain.  There are a few commonly accepted stories, however.  We do know that there was a Roman priest in the third century A.D. who defied the orders of then Roman Emperor Claudius II by conducting illegal marriages.  At the time, the Roman Empire was nearing the end of its glorious 200 year heyday Pax Romana and Claudius, fearing the impending doom, needed to maintain a strong standing army to defend against all of the outsiders who stood in line to invade the most prosperous empire on the planet.  Drafting married men was already illegal in the empire, thus, believing young single men would be most fit to serve, Claudius made it illegal for young men to marry.  A dissenting priest named Valentine defied the emperor’s orders and continued to marry young lovers.  He was jailed and later sentenced to death.  This is where the story gets a little clou

Writing this column for the past ten years has been a symbiotic way for me to examine life’s little twists and turns, while hopefully providing insight and entertainment to readers as well. But last month, when life threw me a disappointing curveball, I really had to dig deep to find the bright side. It wasn’t the end of the world or anything; Just a huge, completely unexpected blow to my ego and my game plan, that had me walking around in a fog for about a day and a half. Particularly unnerving was how much time I spent deciding to take the plunge. For the better part of the last two years I’ve been toying with the idea of going back to school. I’ve taken classes, visited schools, interviewed professionals and professors weighing pros and cons; doctorate versus masters; writing versus history; now versus later. Only to make up my mind, put all of my eggs in one basket (In know!) only to be told, “Thank you for your interest.....Take a hike, sister.” I was so sure I was on the rig