On the Bright Side

One of the greatest benefits of getting older is becoming clearer on who I really am and what I am all about. Young people often lack the confidence, skills, and life experience to narrow down exactly what makes them tick. Growing up is a process of trying on different personalities and engaging with different kinds of people to identify which parts of ourselves we want to accentuate and which we want to discard. I used to love the beginning of a new school year. One year I was punk, the next year a cheerleader. I went from Rizzo to Sandy in less than six months. In college, I minored in dance and changed my major three times. If people didn’t know me better, they might think I had Multiple Personality Disorder. Bear with me, I’m not making light of this affliction. In fact, it is one of the reasons I majored in Psychology. I really relate to the idea that there are many, many personalities inside of each of us, and am fascinated by the way these voices are socialized, controlled, ...

When I met my husband it was love at first sight. We were two long lost souls reunited and were inseparable from the start. Twenty five years, six addresses, two kids and multiple career changes later, our love-fest has matured into grown-up jobs and grown-up responsibilities. And while our souls may be aligned, our personalities are not always so in synch. Marriage has a way of shining a light into corners of our psyche that have been lying dormant and unquestioned for years. I’m sure there were times when my husband looked at me and wondered who this masked impostor was that had been posing as his best friend. I know I did. There were times when we were so far away from each other that it felt scary and lonely. Fortunately, two things we hold in common are an open mind and a sense of humor. The first years of marriage can be tough. Move to a new state, throw a couple of kids into the mix and change jobs a few times and it can be crazy. On a particularly stressful day, my husban...

When my husband came home with a Corvette on his birthday last December I gently teased him about his midlife crisis. I mean, it was certified pre-owned, not brand new, so I wasn’t that concerned.Then, to his credit, he reminded me that I had just enrolled in a Master’s program that, by the way, has nothing to do with my current career. It is just for ME! Events like these have been occurring with more and more frequency over the past few years and have me wondering about the fabled midlife crisis that we’re so familiar with in our culture. New sports car - ‘check’; new hobby - ‘check’; empty nest - ‘check’; noticeable physical changes -‘check’; Admittedly there have been some fun things, such as acting like college students more than when we were in college; and some not so fun things, like not seeing eye-to-eye on what the “next phase” of life should look like. But, like anything else, it is a stage of life that we will traverse. Ready or not, here it comes.  I am no st...