On the Bright Side

They go together like Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire; like peanut butter and chocolate; like milk and cookies. You can’t really have one without the other. On the other hand, ‘now’ and ‘zen’ are like oil and water if you happen to be in the middle of a tooth extraction, as complete presence in a moment like that is a challenge - hence the Novocaine! The point is, you can really only appreciate the fullness of each moment if you stay in the present. Kids get this. They live in the present. They have no worries about paying the mortgage or going to a job every day. They have no one else depending on them. They are not yet aware enough to even think about their purpose in this world. Nope - they just lose themselves in play. And interestingly, the way they play is so close to the true spirit of their being that if they could just hold on what makes them happy their future might be so much easier. They create, they sing, they role play, they run, spin, and they fall down to their hear...

Okay, so I should probably start by explaining that my kids never actually said, “Mother, may I...” although I tried. And I’m not talking about the game we played in the 70s where we stood in a line and one person got to choose who would be “Mother” next by allowing that person 5 steps forward to the everyone else’s 3 paces backward. The title of my column this month is just my cheesy way of using ‘Mother’ and ‘May’ together since Mother’s Day is this month (hint, hint). But my story is a mother’s tale. A few weeks ago, my son drove home from college miserable with a 102 fever. I offered to drive up to see him, but he preferred coming home for some “fresh air, peace and quiet.” I’d like to say I felt bad for him, but if I did that paled in comparison to the major mom-high I was on. In a few days he’d be better and I’d go back to being the nag who still from afar manages to ask just enough questions to garner an eye roll. I’m pretty sure that’s why we don’t Skype. In the meantime, ...

When I met my husband it was love at first sight. We were two long lost souls reunited and were inseparable from the start. Twenty five years, six addresses, two kids and multiple career changes later, our love-fest has matured into grown-up jobs and grown-up responsibilities. And while our souls may be aligned, our personalities are not always so in synch. Marriage has a way of shining a light into corners of our psyche that have been lying dormant and unquestioned for years. I’m sure there were times when my husband looked at me and wondered who this masked impostor was that had been posing as his best friend. I know I did. There were times when we were so far away from each other that it felt scary and lonely. Fortunately, two things we hold in common are an open mind and a sense of humor. The first years of marriage can be tough. Move to a new state, throw a couple of kids into the mix and change jobs a few times and it can be crazy. On a particularly stressful day, my husban...

I came across this little nugget in one of my early morning, coffee enhanced Facebook crawls. Among all of the First Day of School photos, recipes and off-color, but often hilarious Someecards cartoons (my favorite is, “I’d rather make new friends than help you move”), I saw this on someone’s wall: “You don’t choose your dreams, they choose you!” I liked it. The idea that fate is somehow at the helm is a reminder that we need to listen to our hearts and be open as life presents us with opportunities. It’s not always easy. Especially for young people. My son, who is entering his senior year in college, came home for a visit this summer. When I asked him about school he was dismissive and a little irritable. After several days of Master-Mom super sleuthing, I finally pulled it out of him: He didn’t think he really liked where his major was taking him and he regretted not following his heart early on. Like so many others his age, he neglected his true self to pursue a major that was ...