Skip to main content

Little Red Corvette


When my husband came home with a Corvette on his birthday last December I gently teased him about his midlife crisis. I mean, it was certified pre-owned, not brand new, so I wasn’t that concerned.Then, to his credit, he reminded me that I had just enrolled in a Master’s program that, by the way, has nothing to do with my current career. It is just for ME! Events like these have been occurring with more and more frequency over the past few years and have me wondering about the fabled midlife crisis that we’re so familiar with in our culture. New sports car - ‘check’; new hobby - ‘check’; empty nest - ‘check’; noticeable physical changes -‘check’; Admittedly there have been some fun things, such as acting like college students more than when we were in college; and some not so fun things, like not seeing eye-to-eye on what the “next phase” of life should look like. But, like anything else, it is a stage of life that we will traverse. Ready or not, here it comes. 


I am no stranger to the concept that each day is a gift, and not sweating the small stuff is a lifestyle choice I mastered a long time ago. Yet with life slowing down, granting me that coveted time to finally do the things I never had time to do in my thirties and forties, I am confounded by some of the things I allow myself to stress about. And sometimes, for reasons I still can’t quite figure, I occasionally indulge in a pity party when I feel frustrated by the lack of progress that seems to be hindering my path to greatness. With fewer distractions than I can ever remember, the reality is setting in that the only thing getting in the way of me and my dreams is.... ME! 

Interestingly, my first instinct is to fill up my free time with more distractions. I’m taking classes, golf lessons, I joined a gym; I get regular massages and facials - all in the name of self-care, but the truth is, unless I get out of my own way, I will never write this amazing novel that’s been kicking around in my head since... FOREVER! And with that thought comes panic, which of course is fear. Fear of failure. What if my dreams were little lies I told myself to make myself feel valiant for sacrificing so much until it was my turn? And, as cliche as it sounds, what if, now that I have the time, and therefore no more excuses, I try to achieve my dreams and...fail?!  I’d have no one to blame but myself. Midlife offers us the opportunity to stop, reevaluate, and, due to the increasingly undeniable acknowledgement of our mortality, has us walking a fine line between a breakdown and a breakthrough. One thing is certain, a midlife crisis is really a midlife transformation. It is a turning point; a time for change and opportunity. And as long as I can remain open, empathetic to my husband’s own path, and maintain a healthy balance between focus and obsession, we will be as ready, if not more ready, for our Second Act.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

What Would Rosey Do?

Writing this column for the past ten years has been a symbiotic way for me to examine life’s little twists and turns, while hopefully providing insight and entertainment to readers as well. But last month, when life threw me a disappointing curveball, I really had to dig deep to find the bright side. It wasn’t the end of the world or anything; Just a huge, completely unexpected blow to my ego and my game plan, that had me walking around in a fog for about a day and a half. Particularly unnerving was how much time I spent deciding to take the plunge. For the better part of the last two years I’ve been toying with the idea of going back to school. I’ve taken classes, visited schools, interviewed professionals and professors weighing pros and cons; doctorate versus masters; writing versus history; now versus later. Only to make up my mind, put all of my eggs in one basket (In know!) only to be told, “Thank you for your interest.....Take a hike, sister.” I was so sure I was on the rig...

Spring Broke

For years now, I have been setting my alarm seven days a week, even on holidays, to get up earlier than anyone else in my house. I find that I need that time to just sit still. Sometimes I think, and other times I work hard not to think. If I choose to read during that time, I read only books that speak to me spiritually (saving the fun novels, or the articles for work for other, less sacred, times during the day). I also try to write at least a few days a week. Over the years I have carved out this space, creating a virtual temple in my living room where I feel grounded and authentic. It is a daily practice that has provided me with serenity and purpose. So when I casually missed this "appointment" with myself, I was shocked at how easily I lost my footing. I slipped through a crack and had a strange one week journey back to myself. It was like a week out of the Twilight Zone. At the time, I really didn't know what had happened. I described the experienc...