On the Bright Side

I’ve been watching ‘Girls’ on HBO lately. I know, even I’m surprised. Not only are some of today’s twentysomething issues outside of my wheelhouse, some scenes are down right uncomfortable for my fortysomething eyes and ears. But Lena Dunham, the show’s creator and star, is also quite gifted at illuminating universal themes that transcend generations. I became interested this season because Dunham’s character, Hannah, was accepted into the prestigious Iowa Writer’s Workshop, which is something I’ve always dreamed of doing. Then, Hannah decided to quit the writing program and move back to New York City. I love New York. Now Hannah has a job as an interim high school teacher. Perfect - I’m still listening. Her portrayal of the classroom is spot on. She teaches an advanced literature class and does a fine job of inserting just enough literature jargon to keep me interested, and equally appropriate portrayals of the classroom setting to foster my gratitude for a realistic illustration of ...

My car has become one of my sacred places. The 45 minute commute to work each day has become something I genuinely look forward to. This has admittedly been enhanced since the days of schlepping the kids to and from school ended, nonetheless, it is sacred space.  Most people I talk to, even in suburban Florida, find commuting back and forth to work a major an inconvenience. It’s one of the strange things my husband and I ‘argue’ (in the loosest sense of the word) about. For example, I would sooner complain about actually having to work than about the commute. And when I dream aloud about how nice it would be to live on my own schedule and not have to be anywhere for 8 hours a day my husband takes this as his I’m-a-guy-I-fix-things cue suggesting that they only thing awful about having to work is traveling to work, offering all kinds of easy solutions like, just find another job closer to home. He is positive that if I didn’t have the 90 minute commute each day, working wouldn’...

I recently stopped following a friend’s Facebook posts. It’s so disconcerting to think you know someone, have fun with them in social situations, and then read their Facebook posts and think, who is this person? Life is too short to allow someone else’s myopic vision of the world interfere with my blood pressure. But my decision to ‘unfollow’ felt like a cop out - a sort of ‘if you’re not part of the solution you’re part of the problem’ scenario. I resist the urge to confront him because, despite the public arena that is Facebook, I feel like it’s “his” page so he has the right to say whatever he wants and I have the right not to read it. It’s s new kind of social dilemma. If we were having a conversation I would offer my thoughts on things, but posts on Facebook are not really an invitation for discussion. I find that people who post political or religious views are not looking for dissenters. Just cheerleaders. It got me thinking about my role in the bigger picture.   Allow...

One is such a big number. It is assigned so much clout: Number one; one of a kind; the one and only; first place; first in line.. On the first day of the first month of a brand new year the importance gets even more magnified. It is the first day of the rest of our LIVES!!!!  Brand new diet, brand new lifestyle, workout routine, project getting off the ground, filing system, morning routine, calendar, brand new YOU.  So much pressure. Thankfully, wisdom is finally kicking. I’m approaching this new year in a new way. Finally, I realized that striving to implement all of the changes is too lofty, and perhaps even unnecessary, goal. Especially in light of how they’re usually put off for the last month of the previous year in anticipation for this day. This year I’m going to use the New Year transition as a reminder that every day is a New Day with another opportunity to be the best me possible. And when the stress sets in and old habits creep their way back in here and the...

A great way to get in touch with what truly makes you happy is to think back to when you were a young kid with “nothing to do.” How did you do to entertain yourself? Did you build forts out of furniture and blankets? Did you listen to music and try to sing or play along? Did you draw or redesign your room or closet? Did you read? The activities that made the time slip away without notice are the things that we need to be doing more of in our adult life. If they made our hearts smile back in the day, they are sure to do the same today. Some things are obvious, like reading or singing. If you liked it then, you like it now. But what if building blanket forts in the dining room was your bliss? I suppose today a better idea might be to build something useful, like a table. Or maybe the fort was about the privacy. In that case what’s needed is carving out a space to sit quietly, alone when you want to.    Last month I wrote about how I used to love to pretend I was a teacher....

I am finally beginning to identify with the wise old sage inside of me. She smiles warmly looking back at younger versions of myself knowing that all will be ok. I am coming to realize that I am one of the must stubborn, blind, optimistic dreamers known to man. Contradictory, but true. It makes me laugh. I’ve always been a philosopher of sorts. Those closest to me throughout my whole life have agreed that while I am lovable, I am weird. I’m not offended... it’s a commentary on my ability to avoid drama and not sweat the small stuff from very early on. I’ve always known deep down that there is something larger than us at work and that our lives are mere blips on the radar of eternity. I knew before I even read Paulo Coelho’s The Alchemist that our only job on this earth is to follow the truth in our heart and do what we were put here to do. I guess you could say I’m an old soul. The irony is, with all of this ancient wisdom, it takes me forever to see what is right in front of me. ...

When I met my husband it was love at first sight. We were two long lost souls reunited and were inseparable from the start. Twenty five years, six addresses, two kids and multiple career changes later, our love-fest has matured into grown-up jobs and grown-up responsibilities. And while our souls may be aligned, our personalities are not always so in synch. Marriage has a way of shining a light into corners of our psyche that have been lying dormant and unquestioned for years. I’m sure there were times when my husband looked at me and wondered who this masked impostor was that had been posing as his best friend. I know I did. There were times when we were so far away from each other that it felt scary and lonely. Fortunately, two things we hold in common are an open mind and a sense of humor. The first years of marriage can be tough. Move to a new state, throw a couple of kids into the mix and change jobs a few times and it can be crazy. On a particularly stressful day, my husban...